So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
