How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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