I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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