im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
