tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
