oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
