The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I DEMAND FORESKIN
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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