honey bunches of taint.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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