I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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