you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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