But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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