Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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