I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
