I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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