You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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