Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
