Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
from now on my penis is your penis
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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