tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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