shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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