i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize
