Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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