does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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