Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
