So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
