He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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