a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
