I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
