I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
