I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
