If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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