went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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