What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
