Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize