Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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