yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize