Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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