Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
