Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
