I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
