ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
