Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
