I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think your dad took our porno
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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