it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was like having sex with a tree stump
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
