"it" just moved
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
