omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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