Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
