i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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