Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
