Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
