Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
