Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
