How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
