He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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