I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
