Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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