So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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