wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
