I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She bit a glass in half.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dicks are not precious.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
