i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
