Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
