you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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