First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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